When a relationship comes to an end some people come to conclude that it was no longer working and that its time had come. And then there are others who experience an end to a relationship and find it extremely difficult to let go and move on.
This could have been a relationship that was working and creating a lot of fulfillment and it could also have been a relationship that was no longer working and was unfulfilling. So just because a relationship was not functional or healthy, it doesn’t mean that one can simply carry on with their life.
Here one can end up feeling attached to the other person and this can make no sense; especially if the relationship wasn’t that good to begin with. It’s as if by the relationship coming to an end, the other person has suddenly become extremely attractive.
And if one is not aware of this dynamic, it can be interpreted to mean that it must be a sign of how much one likes or even loves the other person. The need or desire to get this person back can then wipe out all rational thought and the ability to reflect on what’s taking place.
Whether this person is suitable or not, then becomes irrelevant. And what started off as something one thought about from time to time or at certain moments, then completely consumes ones attention.
Perhaps one can notice that they have become obsessed or it could be something that their friends, colleagues or family pick up on. Each moment of their lives is then colored by what it would be like to be back together again or by going over how wonderful or perfect the other person is.
This means that focusing on other areas of life is going to be a real challenge; as ones attention is being focused on one thing. As a result of this, how one behaves and perceives reality is going to correspond with what the mind is obsessing about.
There is naturally going to be different consequences here and some of these can be extreme and others could be more subtle in nature. It could be clear that one’s ex is no longer interested and has stated their intentions, but when obsession is involved, this reality can easily be ignored.
The mind will come up with all kinds of fantasies and ideas about how this can and will change. So one can text, call, email and even hang out where they live or work in order to get close to them. Sending gifts or offering to do things can also take place. It is then not a surprise for someone to compromise their integrity and bend over backwards, in order to try and get their ex back.
To an outside observer it can be quiet obvious that the relationship is over, at least at this stage, but as a result of being obsessed, it can be more or less impossible to see. And this is often because it is too painful to face this truth and so staying obsessed can be a lot easier.
On the surface it can seem as though the other person is the cause of one’s pain and that by getting them back it will lead to the removal of this pain. And from this perspective, it is only natural that one is going to become obsessed with the other person and to potentially do anything under the sun to get them back.
Obsession is not good or bad, it is simply what the mind is doing to regulate the feelings and emotions that are coming up from the body. It is a form of protection and is stopping one from becoming overwhelmed by their emotions and feelings.
However, when this process is not understood it can lead to one thinking that the only way to deal with this pain is to get their ex back. And as we are all individuals, this outlook is generally going to lead to more pain.
If the other person didn’t have needs, wants or their own feelings, thoughts or emotions, then it would be natural to expect them to come back. And yet people change and grow and this can mean that who they are attracted to can change.
One could use control or manipulation to get their ex to return, but this would be a form of violation and is unlikely to lead to a healthy and functional relationship. It might cover up how one feels for a short time and then it will soon return.
Now, some of these emotions and feelings can be the result of the relationship ending and relate to the other person. And they can also relate to emotions and feelings that have been trapped in one’s body for many years.
They can go right back to when one was a child and reflect how one was treated by their caregivers. If these feelings and emotions were not dealt with during these early moments, they will have remained in the body. And relationships that one has in latter life will then retrigger them.
And here one can feel: abandoned, rejected, suicidal, alone, ashamed, empty, powerless, hopeless, helpless and worthless for instance. So due to having these early emotions and feelings brought up and the present ones, it can lead to a lot of pain.
If these feelings and emotions are overwhelming and too much to handle, it may be necessary to seek the assistance of a therapist or a healer who can allow one to release them. Being around supportive friends and family members will also make a massive difference.
It will be important not to put pressure on oneself to move on or to start blaming themselves for how they feel. What is going on is not going to last forever and yet if it is resisted, it can last even longer.
ABOUT BRISTOL ROUNDUP
Bristol Roundup is a popular source for Bristol Connecticut news, events and information. The Roundup currently has over 4,650 subscriptions and a local social media following of over 15,000 across multiple sites, pages and groups. The Roundup provides accurate information, events, news and so much more. You can contact us at Mike.Uchalid@bristolroundup.com
Busted: Bristol Police Arrests For 9/29/16
Downtown entrance to Memorial Boulevard set for quick makeover
Supersized Aldi grocery store reopens
Bristol selected to participate in residential solar program
‘Ride for the Blind’ hits to the road at Yankee Harley-Davidson
Mum Festival drew record crowds
Public invited to Autumn Psychic Fair at Pagan Church in Bristol
Food Pantry for Tunxis Students in Need Opens this Fall
Wheeler Clinic to host open house in downtown Bristol
Annual Tip-A-Firefighter to benefit Friends of the Bristol Animal Shelter
Busted: Bristol Police Arrests For 9/28/16
Busted: Bristol Police Arrests For 9/27/16
Long-time Carousel Museum employee receives award for restoring Bushnell Carousel Horses
Road closure announced for Bristol Soap Box Derby — And a little history too!
Witch’s Dungeon Celebrates 50th Anniversary
2016 Mum Festival Parade Winners Announced
Bristol Housing Authority reminds tenants of mandatory community service
Mum Festival displayed the heart of Bristol, its people
Busted: Bristol Police Arrests For 9/26/16
Mum Fest 2016: Holy Moly!
MORE NEWS FROM WORDPRESS PARTNER: FOX 61
STAFFORD SPRINGS– Concerns over illegal trails are continuing to grow in state forests. Environmental Conservation Police say ATV’ers and dirt bikers, for the most part, have been violators of creating their own trails on state land. Both kinds of recreation are not allowed even on designated trails in state forests. Freshly cut tree limbs and cleared brush are obvious signs of people going off the main path. At Shenipsit State Forest, EnCon officers caught the cutter who admitted to them that […]
COSTA DEL ESTE, Panama – Bystanders watched in horror Friday as a multistory building under construction in Costa Del Este, Panama, came crashing down. The collapse carved out a massive, gaping section of the structure, sending workers running. “Oh my God, heavenly Father!” the man filming says as the wreckage slides into the water below. José Donderis de @Sinaproc_Panama me informa que este video es cierto. Es en Costa del Este. pic.twitter.com/7dUJu1CI9G — Alvaro Alvarado (@AlvaroAlvaradoC) September 30, 2016 No […]
EL CAJON, Calif. — Amid growing protests, El Cajon authorities have released video clips of the fatal police shooting of Ugandan immigrant Alfred Olango. Police Friday released cell phone and surveillance video that shows the controversial fatal shooting of a man who pointed a vaping device at officers. The videos show officer Richard Gonsalves firing four shots at Alfred Olango, an unarmed man, who was pointing the cylindrical vape pen at officers earlier this week. A woman can be heard screaming […]
Coma patient is a ‘walking miracle’ after wiggling her toe to stop the life support switch off! Full story:https://t.co/XWfDZ43PLD #miracle pic.twitter.com/RsSbnYqw73 — SWNS.com (@SWNS) September 30, 2016 A chance glance and a big toe saved a 22-year-old woman’s life in the UK, the London Times reports. Sam Hemming, a law school graduate of North Wales’ Bangor University, was being driven home to Hereford by her boyfriend, Tom Curtis, in July when they got into an accident, per the Mirror: The […]